What Would I Do Differently if Given the Chance?

Ten years ago was a long, hot summer I’ll never forget. That’s right when I was serving as the live-in caregiver for my mom as she moved toward the end of her life.

We actually had a very nice summer, all things considered. Though we knew mom’s time was coming in the not so distant future (she’d been given 1.5 years by the doctor originally, and one year of that was “up”), she was stable and comfortable, and was not bedridden. She got up every day, and with a little help got showered
and dressed and greeted her world, even though that world was diminishing little by little.

We could still go on outings every now and then, such as to Garden Ridge, where we learned we could reserve a wheelchair to make it easier for Mom. It made all the difference in her ability to participate, and we had such fun!

We also had Happy Hours for a few select friends twice a week – it was life-affirming to have a few laughs and forget the circumstances, even if only for a short time. And my sisters and I could swim late at night, giggling like kids and enjoying the starry, moonlit Carolina nights.

I’ve thought much about my time as a caregiver for my mom, and what I might do differently if given another chance.

For the most part, I’d do it very similarly – but since I know things now that I didn’t know back then, I can see there are a few things I could have tried that I’m sure would have made a positive difference. Here then, are the top three things I’d “do differently” for each of the main aspects of the caregiving journey.