Thinking about My Mom, and ALL Moms’ Efforts to Do Their Best!

This will be the 10^th Mother’s Day since my mom’s passing and I find myself thinking of her even more than before, if that is possible. Certainly, I have a greater appreciation now for all she did to make my life better.

The gifts Mom gave me have stood the test of time and continue to serve me well now. Some were downright frivolous, such as beauty tips and tricks, or her party trick of “playing” the circus song <Entry of the Gladiators> with only her lips and a high falsetto voice (“popping” her upper and lower lips against each other rapidly to make a repeated and rhythmic “boop boop boop” sound, like a calliope – an art that would have made even the best beatboxer envious, had there been beatboxers way back then). As kids, we would shriek with laughter and beg for more. My sisters and I still can’t figure out how she did it!

Other gifts were far more profound, such as the courage to seek your purpose on the planet, and ways of being and doing while standing in your integrity. Of course, there was also “everything in between” the silly and the substantial.

One thing is for sure, my Mom most definitely poured all her heart and life energies into my two sisters and me. She did her best, and she did an awesome job!

It is hard to imagine the guts it took for her to power her way through the particular times of her lifespan, which encompassed not only growing up during World War II, but also the exhilaration of the fabulous 50s, the rebellion and upheaval of the 60s and 70s, the materialism and cynicism of the 80s and 90s, and onward to the globalization of the 2000’s. Yet she did it one step at a time, with surefootedness and sometimes, sheer willpower.

She was a political junkie, an avid reader (mostly historical non-fiction), a feminist and perhaps most of all, an independent thinker.

She was a woman who marched to her own drumbeat, changing religions at age 16, admiring the Pulitzer Prize winning and controversial female poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, and working her way from secretary up to executive management back when that was darned near impossible.

She loved sunsets, the beach, and the mountains, and preferred a rustic and quiet, laid back atmosphere to glitz. She was honest and very direct, and there was usually no question about where she stood on a given issue. That kind of forthrightness is in short supply these days.

Some memories of my mom have faded, but thankfully others are burned into my memory and no one can ever take them away from me.

I wish I could have seen and experienced my mom when she was young and carefree, and filled with dreams … before the time when she was married with three children by her mid-20s … before the time when my parents were so burdened with financial woes that it drove them apart, leaving her a single mom in 1970.

The truth is she was a woman who was forced to hold the reins tightly – for herself and for us – to keep our family housed, fed and clothed, and to raise us three girls during the late 60s and 70’s without one of us ending up pregnant or on drugs.

In retrospect, her strength and proactivity in taking care of business in life-at-large – and being prepared for her own aging, retirement and even her own dying at home – is what made my own caregiving experience much more pleasant and easy than it might have been otherwise.