Take One Step at a Time

There were so many things to do once my mom passed away, it was mind-boggling. Probate will registration. Closing of bank accounts. Cancellation of all utilities, car insurance, and other necessities of life. It’s impossible to imagine I had it easier than most people, yet I know now that I did because my mom was so well prepared. She had even taken me around to meet her lawyer and banking representatives!

Nonetheless, it was still hard and time-consuming, and I don’t know how I got through it. I can remember sitting in our apartment in Austin, surrounded by my mom’s boxfuls of important papers and other belongings, which my sister and I had driven over from S.C. in a U-Haul. I just sat there one afternoon, paralyzed and staring rather blankly at it all, and not doing a thing.

Some of the boxes had the covers off, as I was going through the contents one by one, trying to make sense of what was there – and what needed to be kept versus tossed. Most of the boxes were still closed, though, and it was daunting. Slowly but surely, I slogged through each day, addressing whatever seemed “hottest” at that moment, and the boxes began to decrease in number. That was nine years ago. Today, there are only two boxes left, and I think those can finally be burned this year, since so much time has passed. They are the last of the papers that will never be needed again.

My mom passed away at Thanksgiving, and we had managed to get through Christmas and New Year’s, missing her greatly all the while. It was this wintery time of year in January – when most people are happily making plans for the future – that I was sitting there alone with all those boxfuls of my Mom’s important papers and memorabilia.

I cannot tell you it was easy. So many memories. A few regrets. A few tears and a few chuckles. But little by little, I made progress by taking a few small steps every day, and finally they all added up.

I try to think of that time now whenever I have a new goal or seemingly insurmountable challenge ahead of me. Just take one step at a time!