Story of Our Times

My immediate family’s story is, like so many good stories, integrally linked with its particular time in history – in our case, the 60s and 70s. My parents were divorced in 1970, and we were the first family to experience it among our friends. It was bruising to my fragile 16-year-old ego, and had long-lasting impacts on me and my sisters, but that’s a story for another day!

As for my Mom, back in her late teen years her Dad had not allowed her to attend college.

This was way back in 1950, and he sent her instead to the prestigious Katherine Gibbs Secretarial School in Boston. It wouldn’t have been atypical in first-generation immigrant families at that time, but it was devastating to my Mom, who was very smart and had a burning desire to get her 4-year degree.

Nonetheless, that Katie Gibbs credential came in handy down South (where we had moved by the late 50s). My Mom easily secured executive secretarial positions over the years. After the divorce, she had we three teenaged girls to support – and with her natural drive and desire to take on more responsibility, she worked her way up the ladder, in keeping with the times, to senior purchasing agent within a large Fortune 500 company, all on her own good works.

She always resented that her Dad denied her the experience of going to college, but she was proud of all that she had been able to do despite that. Starting with virtually nothing at the point of the divorce at 38 years old, she worked hard, did without and saved her money. Within just 27 years she was able to catch up and retire at 65, with a good plan for taking care of herself for the duration.

In her retirement years, she enjoyed traveling to Ireland, England, France, Italy, the Galapagos, Japan, Hong Kong and other places on her bucket list. She was also very active in her 55+ gated community, and was in good health because she took good care of herself.

For my Mom, having a plan was everything, since she had been through so much upheaval in her life with the divorce and its aftermath. Did I mention that she managed to raise three teenaged girls in the 70s with no pregnancies? My Mom was tough – she had to be.

Her fierce longing to protect her independence came from her deep-rooted sense of responsibility to herself and to my two sisters and me. Ten years before she was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, she forced US to have those difficult conversations. Her forward, no nonsense approach to having a good, working plan in place and her courage to continue living while she was dying are the inspiration for my book, which will be published this Autumn, 2017.